That biometric Apple EarPod rumor literally came from the toilet

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The report that Apple’s next EarPod headsets would feature a heart rate screen and iBeacon built in has actually become a full and utter hoax.

We did call it ‘the most unfounded Apple rumor’ we ‘d yet heard, though we also explained just how much sense it would make.

Still, the prankster has come out of the woodwork to clarify that he or she ‘simply made it all up on the shitter.’

Well that’s very cut-and-dry.

Cannot say with you on this one

The offender claims to have actually never seen the Apple patents associated with earbuds, and supposedly knew nothing of Apple’s recent medical-focused hires.

Instead, this individual apparently made the report up because the Secret social network’s ‘anonymous nature makes it a fun location to upload things you can’t on Twitter.’

‘I wrote it 5 minutes after I got up on the 1st of might,’ the confessional Tumblr post reads. ‘I was blurred considered, I’d a headache, I was utilizing the toilet and worrying about my blood pressure.’

The individual laments that a variety of coincidences made the report seem more reputable than they planned, and the guilt of ripping off a lot of individuals legitimately seems a heavy weight.

‘I am sorry this joke left hand,’ the post reads. ‘I am just someone who believed they were amusing and made a fortunate guess and was too dumb to suffice off early before it got silly. I was a jerk.’

Fair enough. And simply in case you are doubtful about this admission – cannot imagine why – note that the author of the original Secret post associateded with the Tumblr exposé in the comments.

The takeaway from all this?

‘I’ll think twice from now on about what I say online,’ the jokester wrote. ‘I recommend for some this act as a caution that they should, too.’